Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Cease Using Me for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?